Can I just say something? I prefer fat girls, and all that, and it’s fine, cool, whatever. You know what though? Skinny people don’t give a shit that I prefer fat girls. They don’t care, at least not enough to say anything to my face about it (of course I probably scare the shit out of ‘em too). You know who I do get a lot of shit from? You know who doesn’t approve of my preference?
The size acceptance community.
That’s right. The very community I ought to feel comfortable in, makes me feel ashamed and uncomfortable. Because I run a porn blog and I objectify women (sarcasm). If that isn’t the dumbest bunch of shit I’ve ever heard in my life. I like looking at fat girls, who are naked, and in various states off arousal. Apparently this makes me a bad person. Because I like looking at naked fat girls, I’m some kind of pervert to be despised and shamed of. And when I vent and talk about how I feel, I’m treated like an even bigger piece of shit. I’ve actually lost followers over this (to them: HAVE A NICE LIFE!)
I’m beginning to find that people outside of this little “bubble” we have created for ourselves to keep us safe isn’t as accommodating that we all like to think it is. It’s bullshit to the highest degree and if you believe that all is fair in size acceptance, I’ve got some news for you.
It doesn’t matter if it’s a fetish or a preference because people are going to believe what they want to believe. There’s nothing that can be expressed to sway them one way or the other. Once that’s it, that’s fucking it. So in that respect, there are really two schools of thought in the size acceptance community that I’ve seen, The Nudes and The Prudes.
I’ve spent most of my adult life (25 years, give or take) around the adult industry end of the movement. I’ve seen BBW go from an obscure search term to a keyword in porn. I’ve dealt with a lot of people, Some cool, some not. Some of the biggest assholes have been right here on tumblr.
I no longer look at acceptance as a community thing. It is an individual thing that starts with yourself. Are you proud of yourself or not? Can you stand what you see in the mirror, or are you ashamed by it? Nobody can tell you that, you have to see it for yourself and find the answers within you.
The problem then becomes one of projection. Everybody has their own idea of what self acceptance looks like. Everybody thinks they know who the good people and the bad people are. Everybody thinks they know how those people ought to be dealt with. Everybody is full of shit. There is too much projection of insecurities in the size “acceptance” community, and I’m sick of it.
I’m sick of people proclaiming how proud of their bodies they are, or how they love fat people so much. Don’t proclaim it, prove it. You’re gonna talk about how you love fat people? Talk to them, tell them that you hope they have a nice day. Don’t talk shit on the fucking internet, nobody cares.
And if you’re gonna post pictures of your naked ass on the internet, be ready for people to snatch it up and do VERY unpleasant things with it. Insulting shit that will make masturbating to it look like a fucking compliment. You could BE so lucky to end up on my blog, or a blog like mine. At least I (and we) care. At least we appreciate. Go ahead, look for yourself. You already know, there are some real bastards out there. So if you’re gonna post tits, Appreciate the people that appreciate you because there are other people ready to make a meme out of them.
I don’t believe in size acceptance anymore. I believe in “SELF ACCEPTANCE”. It is neither a preference or a fetish. It just is…. or is not. You either do it or you don’t do it. You don’t have to proclaim it, you don’t have to keep it to yourself. Some people will accept you, some people will not accept you. At the end of the day, YOU have to be comfortable with YOURSELF. If you surround yourself with a “community”, that are just as full of shit as the world they rage against, then what have you really accomplished? Me? I’m tired of wearing the mask.
I dig fat chicks, You can either:
Like it
Not like it
Or hidden option C: Not give a shit.
I’m not asking anyone to be my friend, I’m just putting it out there that maybe Size Acceptance isn’t all that its cracked up to be, and that maybe it just doesn’t matter if you have a preference or a fetish because you have already been judged.
Reblogging this because I recently had a very angry blogger go all #misandry and #oppression on my ass for calling myself a fat admirer. I can’t help being attracted to fat- I’m not trying to objectify you.
I read this and I still think
nahhhhh
no
nope
I don’t know
HERE WE FUCKING GO. We’ve got a lot of ground to cover, so let’s get this shit started.
The size acceptance community is not your own personal basket o’ porn. Should I repeat that? THE SIZE ACCEPTANCE COMMUNITY DOES NOT EXIST FOR THE LIBERATION OF YOUR DICK. Size Acceptance communities exist so that we can resist and destroy oppressive power structures that seek to control, harm, and exterminate fat people. Size Acceptance communities do not exist so that men who like fat women can post porn of fat women and be lauded for it, as if they are doing society a great favor.
This is the problem with what your blog and blogs like yours do:
You do not care about fat politics. When your blog is mostly, if not entirely, comprised of porn, you are not being a size acceptance advocate. You are being an advocate for fatty porn. That is it. That is all. If you cared about making social change for fat people, if you cared about making social change for people attracted to fat people, if you cared about making significant changes to the confidence of fat women, and if you cared about making significant changes to the confidence of people attracted to fat people, you would be doing more than posting pictures as masturbation material. But you aren’t. Your blog and blogs like yours are nothing more than dark corners in the internet in which people go to jack off on the walls and leave with their heads hanging low.
You harm women. When you reblog and repost pictures of women who have not given consent to you using their pictures as masturbation material, you are sexually harassing them, and you are objectifying them. When you have a string of posts that are nothing more than naked fat women, and you reblog a picture of a woman fully dressed, or at a party with her friends, or any other type of photo that is non-sexual, you are turning her into a sexual object for your viewing pleasure. This is not a form of flattery. This is not a form of size acceptance. This is you being voyeuristic and disgusting and it isn’t fair to the people you do it to.
We don’t give a fuck about your dick. Sorry, buddy, but thems the breaks. We don’t care about your boner, and we don’t have to care about your boner. The reason you feel attacked for your preferences by Size Acceptance communities is because you are making your desire for masturbation material more important than the thoughts and feelings of actual people. You come on here whining about how your boner isn’t the talk of the town, but yet you refuse to listen to the voices of the women who you are objectifying. Why the fuck would we care about your feelings if you refuse to care about ours?
You silence us from the beginning. The problem with your blogs and blogs like yours is that a lot of you have no means of being contacted, so when people want their pictures taken down, there is no way to request or enforce that. When we complain or reach out about how you’ve made us feel disgusting, dirty, and unsafe, you call it “bullshit” instead of admitting that OUR PICTURES WEREN’T TAKEN FOR YOU and agreeing to take them down.
“The Nudes vs. The Prudes:”
You realize you’re being an asshole right? Here’s the thing. Just because you’ve been a part of the adult industry, doesn’t mean that the world is your fucking porn oyster, you got me? Your involvement in the adult industry does not give you free reign to turn everyone else into participants of the adult industry. What you seem to be missing is the fact that the Size Acceptance movement is not the fucking adult industry, nor is it a dating site. The people who are a part of the Size Acceptance movement are not involved because they want someone to say “Hey! You’re fuckable!” We are involved because we want to change the inherent flaws in a thin-centric society, while finding ways to grow as people while celebrating our bodies. The fact that you’ve created this disgusting binary of People Who Will Let Me Say I Want To Fuck Them vs. People Who Don’t Like It When I Treat Them Like My Own Personal Living Porn Video is not only incredibly misguided, but it’s also really fucking sad.
“Appreciate it or GTFO:”
Ha. Ha ha. Ha ha ha ha HA ha HA haHA HAhahaHAHA. Ha. Ha. Appreciate…what…exactly? The fact that you don’t give a shit that we don’t want to be your wank material? Appreciate the fact that you don’t care about the fact that you make us feel dirty and unsafe? Appreciate the fact that you have the audacity to find us attractive? Yeah fucking right, bro. It’s just like you said earlier – no one cares that you find us attractive, because it’s just a fact of your existence. It’s not something to be celebrated. It’s not something to be in awe of. It’s just a fucking fact. And you don’t get to be APPRECIATED for having a fucking blog, or wearing clothes, or having dinner, or liking fat girls. Because it’s just a fucking fact about yourself, and no one gives a fuck. The problem is, you think you should be appreciated for liking fat women. Because other “bad” people find fat women attractive, and hey, at least you’re the “nice” guy who gets off to our pictures without our permission, right? No. Wrong. You are just as much an asshole for getting off to our pictures without our permission as the person who would make a meme out of our bodies, because in both of these instances, you are making our worth as human beings dependent upon whether or not you want to fuck us. You are reducing us to fucktoys, rather than what we are: sentient beings who have agency over our bodies and the way our bodies are treated.
Lastly, of fucking course you believe in self acceptance over Size Acceptance. You know why? Because you’re fucking selfish. When you make it about self acceptance over Size Acceptance, you’re saying that the people in the Size Acceptance movement who have been harmed by you do not matter, that what is more important is whether or not you’re allowed to use their pictures for masturbation material, and you know what? It’s not news to us. We already knew you were a selfish piece of shit. This only proves that point further.
In summation, please go fuck yourself. We don’t need your faux-acceptance male gaze privileged ass bullshit. We’ve got enough douchebags to deal with on a regular basis, we don’t need it from pricks like you as well.
READ.
IT.
ALL.
People with privileged identities often have a sense of entitlement that makes them feel free to speak and express themselves (and then be listened to) in just about every space and institution in our society. And when their entitlement gets checked in specific spaces and communities that were NOT created for them and do NOT cater to their voices, they get all pissy and hurt.
Guess what, these spaces aren’t created to accept or empower you or correct the ways you’ve been systematically wronged. You don’t get to define how marginalized people should feel, you don’t get to define the terms for their empowerment, and you don’t get a gold star for thinking your “approval” of them helps their self-esteem. You’re welcome to enter these spaces, but that means that if you’re engaging in problematic attitudes or behavior and get called out on it, it’s time for you to SHUT UP and LISTEN.
I need fat acceptance because I was told all my life that I should be ashamed for being fat. I’m constantly looked at and made fun of. I’m seen as an example of what not to become and that is not okay. I need fat acceptance because I shouldn’t feel bad about the fat that surrounds my body. Being fat is not a crime. Loving my fat body is not a crime. I need fat acceptance because I’m a person, just like you. I should not be judged for the fat I carry.